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Miscellaneous Jokes

Question: How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb? (Multi-choice)

Two TV aerials met on a rooftop, fell in love and decided to get married. The ceremony was a bit boring, but the reception was excellent.

A producer, a gaffer and a camera operator find themselves marooned on a desert island while shooting on location. As they trudge along the beach, they stumble upon an ancient lamp.

As the camera operator dusts off the sand, a genie appears and offers to grant each of them one wish. The camera operator thinks for a moment then says, "I want to be transported to a beautiful resort hotel with a pool-side bar, an unlimited expense account, and a harem of beautiful women willing to do anything I ask".

"OK," says the genie, "consider it done." And the camera operator disappears in a puff of smoke.

"Wow", says the gaffer, "that sounds perfect - I'll have what he asked for!" Poof, he disappears in a puff of smoke.

"And what do you wish for, master?" the genie asks the producer. The producer looks at his watch and says, "I want those other two bastards back here in five minutes!"

An actor goes to a factory and asks to speak to a manager. "I'm an actor a I'm looking for a job for a while. Can you help me?"

"Sure," replies the manager "How's $75,000 a year and a company car sound? Can you start tomorrow?"

"Are you joking?" asks the actor.

The manager smiles and says, "You started it!"

How to pitch a movie idea